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Part of the "art of listening" ensures that the customer knows that their story is listened.
This is achieved by the helper / consultant, which repeats itself on the customer's parts of its story. This is known as paraphrasing .
Reflective is shows that the customer has not only heard that, not only what is said, but also what feelings and emotions of the customer experience when the customer share their story with them .
This is sometimes in consultation "speak" as music behind the words .
it's as if one would hold up a mirror to the customer; Repeat what you said shows the customer you have your full attention. It also allows the customer that they have completely understood them. If not, you can correct yourself.
Reflection and rewriting should not only contain what is said, but which emotion or the feeling of the customer expresses.
Let's look at an example:
Customer (Mohammed): My ex-wife attracted me yesterday; She told me that our daughter Nafiza (which only 9) after a car accident is very ill. I feel very anxious for her. They live in France, so I have to travel to see them, and now I've been redundant, I do not know how to afford to go.
Advisor: Such, Mohammed, they had some bad news about her little girl involved in an accident. They are afraid for them and have also worried about money, now they have lost their job.
client: yes, yes. that's right.
Note that the consultant does not offer advice, or ask how long Mohammed and his wife were separated, but reflects the emotion reflected, which is said : "anxious" and "worries ".
Reflection and paraphrasing are the first skills we learn as helpers, and they stay most useful.
To build a trusting relationship with a helper, the customer does not just have to "listen", but also belongs and evaluate as a person.
"Reflective and paraphrasing should not only contain what is said, but what emotion or the feeling of the customer expresses."
Reflection in the consultation is as if you were holding a mirror: the words of the client repeated when you have said it.
You can return the entire set, or you can select some words - or even a single word - from what the customer brought.
I often refer to reflection as "the lost ability", because if I look at the students look at the simulated skill sessions, or their shots from the placement (where customers have agreed), I rarely see Reflection as a skill. This is a pity because the reflection can be very powerful.
If we use the ability of reflection, we want to customize with the sound, feeling of words and expression or body language of the customer as they speak .
For example, you could have started your shoulders as you said, "I was so scared; I did not know what to do. '
We could reflect this by bringing down our own shoulders, and reflect your body language, while I say that 'I had scared so; I did not know what to do. '
We can also use reflection to clarify our understanding instead of using a question.
For example, accepted, the customer says:
'My husband and my father fight. I'm really angry with him.'
For me to be in the framework of the customer, I have to know if 'he refers to the husband or the Father. So I could reflect the word ' ' with a quizza look.
The client can then reply:
'yes, my father. He really comes to me if he is not accepted. '
You can get clarification in this way. You can customize where you should make sure that the empathic bond is strong and you are really within the customer's reference.
"If we use the ability of reflection, we are looking for the sound, feeling of the words and the expression of the customer or the customer's body language, as they languages.
Paraphrasierung repeats your understanding of the materials brought by the customer, which was used with their own words.
A paraphrase reflects the essence of what was said .
We all use a paraphrasing in our everyday life. If you look at your studies to become a consultant or psychotherapezes, you must rewrite in class.
Maybe your lecturer brings a body of work, and you stop and make notes: you need to paraphrase you if you distill this, what you feel is important.
How does paraphrasing influence the relationship of the client consultant?
First, it helps the customer to feel listening and understood. The customer brings her material, dares to share with them.
And they show that they listen by giving them a small part of this back - the part that feels the most important thing. You set it up.
And if you do exactly and right, and it fits where the customer is, the customer will recognize that, recognizing and belonging to me. '
These keys directly in empathy, because it is about building this empathetic relationship with the customer. And empathy is not a disposable transaction .
. "Empathy [is] the ability to perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings, which at the back, as if one were the person, but without ever" as if "conditions to lose conditions."
Carl Rogers (1959, pp. )
In other words, we go in Jemander shoes as if their reality is our reality - but of course it is not our reality, and here is the 'as if' comes in.
I have heard that happens as 'in the customer's shoes, but our socks on "!
empathy is a two-way transaction - that is, it is not enough to be 100% in the framework of the customer to understand their true feelings; The customer must also perceive that we understand .
If the customer feels at some level that they were understood, the empathy circle is completed.